


Dude Looks Like A Lady

by ms_superwhoavengelockgermany06



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Assumptions, Everyone Thinks Phil Is A Creeper, F/M, Female Clint Barton, M/M, SHIELD is Full Of Fuck-Ups, Science Experiments, poor steve is confused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 02:55:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ms_superwhoavengelockgermany06/pseuds/ms_superwhoavengelockgermany06
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Clint has downtime, he helps out SHIELD's R & D department test out new technology. The one time they have something really cool for him to test out, it backfires. But Phil doesn't seem to mind so much...after he stopped trying to shoot him.</p><p>There is now a sequel: <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/859055">Look at The Mess We Made</a></p><p>For a prompt given to me by summerotaku on Tumblr.<br/>"Prompt- While recovering between missions Hawkeye tests things for Sheild's R&D department. He's the first to try their camo-tech belt that makes you look like someone else, which is awesome minus the fact they only have "busty jailbait teen girl" programmed and oops now it's stuck on Clint in the on position for a few days. No one is less amused than Clint's lover (Natasha/Coulson/or Bucky?IDK) who has to deal with people suddenly thinking they are cheating or being a creeper while in public."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dude Looks Like A Lady

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic written for a Tumblr prompt. I am ecstatic.
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, and in this story, Clint is always referred to as a he, unless it is from an outsider's (except Phil's) point of view.

Clint sat in the lab, watching the SHIELD techs run around. They had a new piece of tech they wanted him to try out, and Clint was happy to do it. It kept him out of Phil's hair while he did paperwork (not the Phil minded Clint's presence,) and it kept him away from Stark, who made constant cracks about him dating Phil. One of the techs brought over a thick black belt with a disc for the buckle and handed it to Clint.

"This is something we came up with just recently. Its a camouflage belt that can make you look like someone else for a limited amount of time. So, just put it on and I'll show you how it works." The tech said. 

Clint nodded with a smirk. A camouflage belt? How sweet was that? He got it on quickly and buckled it. The tech nodded. 

"How does it feel? It looks natural enough to be discreet." The tech noted. 

"Feels great. Not heavy or anything." Clint said. 

"Good. good. So, the belt works like this. Do you see this dial on the buckle? Spin it to the right and then press this small button in the middle. Then, if it works, everyone should see you as a different person." 

"Sweet! So to the right, press the button," Clint went through the motions, "How do I look?" 

"There is a mirror in here, you know, Agent Barton." 

Clint ran to the mirror and looked at himself. He looked like a seventeen year old girl version of himself. Long light brunette hair framed his face, which was softer and rounder. His green eyes were wider and framed with long dark lashes and thick black eyeliner, mascara completing the look. The rest of his face was made up with thick layers of foundation, blush, and eye shadow, and Clint grimaced at that. He hated make-up. He continued to observe his camouflage body. He had a nice body as a girl, and he had huge breasts. Double D's at least. Oh, and he was dressed like a prostitute. How _wonderful._ Shorts that barely covered his ass and a tank-top that showed off, in Clint's opinion, a little _too_ much cleavage, with a plaid over shirt rolled up to his elbows. And then there were the strappy heels on his feet . He looked like jailbait, and he was ready to be himself. 

"So, does this thing have a setting besides 'jailbait teen with huge tits?'" Clint asked. 

"Unfortunately, not yet. We're working on it." The tech said. 

"Well, I thought this was going to be cool, but I don't think I like looking like a busty teen. How do I turn it off?" 

"Reverse the process. Turn to the left, press the button." 

"Got it," Clint did so, but it was stuck, "What the hell? It won't turn." 

"Here, let me try." 

The tech tried to turn the dial, but it still wouldn't budge. The tech let out a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. Clint raised an eyebrow. 

"Uh, it looks like its stuck." The tech said. 

"Stuck?! What do you mean, _stuck?_ " Clint screeched. 

"It seems the dial is stuck. I think Dr. Bash may have put a time limit on it." 

"A time limit?" Clint picked the tech up by the collar, "Go find Dr. Bash and get him to fix this!" 

"Dr. Bash is on a mission in Germany. He won't be back for a week." 

"What the _fuck_ am I supposed to do?! I can't stay like this!" 

"It'll only be for a little while. Uh, you can go. I'll alert Director Fury." 

Clint growled angrily and stormed at out of the room. All the male techs turned to stare as he walked, watching his hips sway and his breasts bounce. One of them whistled. Clint just rolled his eyes and walked out. 

"What an ass." A tech murmured, covering his lap with a file. 

Clint walked down the hall, his heels clacking against the linoleum. He was steaming and brooding about being stuck as a teenage girl for a week. He was so busy being pissed off that he ran into someone walking down the hall. He was knocked to the ground and he picked himself up as the person he ran into pointed a gun to his head. Clint looked at the man's face. It was Phil! Clint jumped on Phil and wrapped his leg around his waist. 

"Phil! Oh, thank God!" Clint exclaimed, kissing Phil's cheek. 

"How do you know who I am? Who brought you here? Who are you?" Phil asked bluntly, shoving Clint off of him and pointing the gun to his head again. 

"Phil, its me! Clint! I was testing some things for the R  & D Department and they fucked something up and now I'm stuck like this until Dr. Bash gets back." 

"Clint? Prove it to me." 

"When they unfroze Steve, you sat in his room and dressed him, fixed his hair, and read him thirteen out of fifty-eight of the original _Hardy Boys_ books. Your favorite song is _Can't Fight This Feeling_ by REO Speedwagon. You love the Bourne movies even though you hate Matt Damon. You-" 

"That's enough, Clint. I probably should have known it was you when you still jumped into my arms when I had a gun pointed at your head. Only you are that risky." 

"So give me kisses, Daddy." 

"Clint, you don't look like yourself. It'll raise suspicion." 

"No one's here right now, Phil. Please?" 

"Fine. And, uh," Phil coughed, "You're kind of hot in this body." 

Clint giggled and pulled Phil in for a kiss. 

********

Steve was whistling as he walked through the halls, looking for his boyfriend, Tony. Tony may or may not have convinced Steve to play hide and seek with him, and Tony was hiding _really_ well. Steve walked down one of the hallways and immediately stopped. He saw Phil, kissing some dame he'd never seen before. Steve was confused. He could have sworn Clint and Agent Coulson were in a relationship, but maybe he was wrong. Steve knew Phil was nice ad honest man, and he'd never cheat on Clint. So Steve figured that Phil and Clint had broken up and Phil had gotten a new partner. She looked a little too young to be with Phil, but Steve just kept quiet and tiptoed to another hallway.

When Steve found Tony, he was hiding under a desk, rocking back and forth. Steve kneeled beside him and poked him in the stomach. 

"Your turn to seek, Tony." Steve said with a smile. 

"Steve, Phil is cheating on Clint. I saw him with some bimbo that was, like, seventeen. Didn't know Coulson was into jailbait." Tony said with a shudder. 

"Oh, Tony, don't be silly! Phil's a good man. He wouldn't cheat on the person he loves. I saw him with her, too. Maybe Phil and Clint broke up." 

"Why are you so naïve? Phil wanted a busty chick with a nice ass, but he still loves Clint, so to be satisfied sexually, he hired a prostitute." 

"That's ridiculous!" 

"Oh, yeah?" 

Tony just stared at the blonde soldier before him with a raised eyebrow until Steve's eyes widened. 

"Oh my gosh, Phil's cheating on Clint." 

***********

Bruce wasn't one for gossip, but he couldn't help it. He had to talk to someone. He hadn't seen Clint in two days, and he just saw Phil in bed with a woman that most definitely _was not_ Clint. He went into the kitchen and saw Natasha sitting there, drinking coffee and sharpening a knife. The tower felt kind of empty, but he forgot that Steve and Tony were in Malibu and Thor was off in Asgard, and Clint was MIA, so it left him, Natasha, and Phil in the tower. Bruce sat down across from her, causing Natasha to raise an eyebrow in something resembling surprise. Bruce didn't usually talk to her-or anyone besides Tony, really.

"Natasha, could I tell you something?" Bruce asked timidly. 

"Is it important?" Natasha asked. 

"Its about Clint." 

"Tell me now." 

"I saw Phil in bed with a woman." 

"Phil is cheating on Clint?" 

"I don't know for sure. I just saw that and I don't want Clint to be hurt." 

"I'll talk to Phil, Bruce. Thank you for telling me." 

Bruce almost felt bad for Phil. He was sure it might have been a misunderstanding, and he probably shouldn't have told the one person in the house that is more protective of Clint than Phil about his suspicions. Bruce snuck down to his lab. 

************

"Oh, Phil, give it to me _harder_!" Clint moaned.

"You like that, Clint? You like it when Daddy has his dick in your tight little cunt?" Phil growled. 

Clint let out a cry of pleasure as Phil thrust into him again. It was a little weird the first time they'd had sex while Clint was like this, since Clint has a vagina and all, but Clint quickly learned that sex was _amazing_ as a woman. Phil could hold him down more easily and Clint liked it rough, but Phil didn't have to work as hard to bruise him. Clint did miss being a guy, though, because he knew about everyone's suspicions about Phil cheating, and Clint hated that Phil was getting blamed for something he wasn't doing. Clint stopped thinking about the problem and enjoyed the sex because he wasn't in this body forever, and God, did Phil's dick feel good. 

***********

Clint was so happy that he only had a day left of being a girl. Dr. Bash would be back tomorrow and could fix the belt so he could be him again. But, with his feeling of euphoria, he forgot that other people lived in the tower and he walked into the kitchen to get some juice. Everyone stared at him as he reached into the fridge and that's when he remembered.  
He closed his eyes and waited for someone to speak.

"Who the fuck are you and how did you get in my tower?" Tony asked angrily. 

"I'm a...friend of Phil's. My name is Claire." Clint said. 

"Phil didn't say anything about a friend. He tells us everything." Natasha said. 

"Oh, I just got in town late last night. He probably didn't have time." 

"Bullshit." 

"Excuse me?" 

"You need to stay away from Phil. He has a boyfriend. So why don't you go back to your selling corner and wait for someone else to use your body as a cum blanket?" 

Clint gasped. He'd never heard Natasha talk like that, and even though she saw him as someone else, it still hurt Clint pretty badly. Clint slunk off to his and Phil's room, pushing past Phil as he went. Phil was about to turn to stop him or to follow him, but he noticed everyone's glares. He felt his face heat up. Natasha jut got up and left, and then everyone else followed suit. Phil sighed and grabbed a mug to get his coffee. 

**********

Clint was laying on an examination table as Dr. Bash fiddled with the disk to return him to his normal self. Phil was standing by the table, holding Clint's hand. They had already been there for an hour, and Dr. Bash said he was very close to resolving the problem. Phil was happy that he was going to have his Clint back. Dr. Bash finally cracked the dial and Phil shut his eyes, and when he opened them, he saw his Clint, a grin on his face. Clint sat up and hugged Phil tightly, and snuggled into Phil's chest when he hugged back. Dr. Bash smiled.

"I'm _so_ sorry this happened. I hope this won't affect your decision to test products for us." Dr. Bash said. 

"Are you fucking _kidding_? You turned me into a chick for a week! I'm not testing shit for you!" Clint said, hopping off the table. 

"Agent Barton, please-" 

"Hell no." 

Clint gripped Phil's hand and dragged him out of the lab. They had some explaining to do.


End file.
